It will happen.
The right one’s out there somewhere.
You’re still young.
It will be worth the wait.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
I’ve heard all the lines a thousand times, usually from people who love me and genuinely mean what they are saying. Maybe I’ve even heard them from you. Sometimes I’m grateful for these words of encouragement. But sometimes I want to punch the do-gooder right in the face.
You see, the reality is it might not happen. The right one might not be out there somewhere. The “wait” might be the destination. God never promised me that I would get married, but He has assured me that He is my beloved and my first love.
I know deep down that my Savior, my Maker, my Sustainer… He’s enough. He’s proven Himself time and time and time again. In spite of this, the desire to marry remains. There is still that sting in my heart when a friend gets engaged or posts mushy posts about the sweet, romantic thing their spouse did for them, no matter how truly happy for them I might be. Is it jealousy? Sometimes. But not always. Sometimes it is just a deep longing, grieving what has not been and may never be. And I don’t think that’s wrong.
Desiring to wed is not sinful. Being sad that there is no “special someone” in your life is not sinful. Most of us singles who experience these emotions don’t dwell there. We still laugh, we still work, we still have fun and meaningful friendships. Our life is not in shambles because we are single.
Wanna know a secret? There are even times we are grateful for our singleness! Imagine that! I know that God will give me the desire of my heart if it’s His will. If not, He will change the desires of my heart to match His will. My relationship status doesn’t get to define my identity (though sometimes it seems like it does). Christ alone has that privilege. Right now He is teaching me, growing me, and loving me where I am. I may be single and, yes, sometimes lonely, but I am not alone. Christ did not save me to abandon me. He will see me through and He will never leave me nor forsake me.
Sweet married friends, I don’t need you to tell me how much I need to love being single and embrace it. I’m trying. I also don’t need you to tell me how amazing marriage is. One day I might learn for myself, but then again, maybe I won’t. I can still have plenty of amazing experiences (and already have!) as a single. Keep sharing the mushy stuff. Moments like that are blessings to be treasured. Just don’t get offended if I can’t genuinely “like” it that day.
Let me have my moments of grieving. Love me for who I am. Be there to listen when I need to talk vent about it. Crack a joke here and there. And, of course, if you have any single, godly friends you can send them my way. 😉