Market

“To market, to market, to buy a fat pig;
Home again, home again, dancing a jig.
To market, to market, to buy a fat hog;
Home again, home again, jiggety-jog.”
~ Mother Goose

I absolutely love market days here, though I don’t take part nearly as often as I should!  And I’ve never bought a pig or a hog there, but I did almost buy a rabbit once – for a pet, not for food.  On пазар ден (paw-zar den, market day) the shops are going in full force and street vendors are plentiful.  In the market area itself you can find row after row of locals and people from the surrounding villages selling fruits, veggies, clothes, kitchen utensils, tools, and just about anything else you could need or imagine.  You are guaranteed to hear “Повели?” (pronounced Poe-vel-ee and basically means “Can I help you?”) at least 107 times just walking through.

Now that the warmer weather has begun, the produce is looking better and better!  I’ve started making fruit salads, smoothies – which I can never get quite right – and шопска салата (showp-skaw sa-lata) which is chopped cucumbers and tomatoes with a fetta-type cheese called сирeње (see-ren-yay).

But my most recent market day – aka yesterday – was the best one yet.  I have seen some beautiful clothes in the market, but I was always scared to buy any – I like to try things on before I buy, especially here!  I was just looking around at some different shirts and a sweet lady was trying to sell me one of them (they are definitely good salespeople here!), but I was really hesitant.  Then she said a few words that very well might change the rest of my time here, “You can try it on if you want.”

I was in shock.  Where in the world can I try this on???  Then she wove me back behind/ between some of the booths and showed me a little curtain that was hung to form a make-shift changing room.  The space was small and the curtain was not as thick as one might hope so it was rather awkward.  But, still, I was getting to try it on!

Then I realized I was in a tiny curtain box and there was no mirror.  So I peeked out to see the sales lady standing there holding a little 5″x7″ (or something close to that size) mirror.  So I saw the top, then the middle, then the bottom.  Haha!  But then I got bold.  I began asking people if they had a place to try things on and every single one of them did!!!  I’m sure several booths share the same curtain box, but I’m amazed at (and grateful for) their creativity!  I ended up trying on 3 or 4 shirts – and even bought one!

After leaving the market I decided to head to a clothing shop my friends had told me about the day before.  Everything in the store is 220 MKD (about $4).  I now have two more new shirts and a new favorite store here.  It even had an American-esque fitting room complete with a full length mirror!

I hadn’t planned on buying 3 shirts when I left the house yesterday morning, but knowing that usually clothes here are just as expensive as they are in the States and that I got all three of them for about $20 – I was pretty pleased.  It was also a great self-confidence boost.  The sales people here could probably convince (or at least try to convince) a dolphin that it looks good in – and even needs – a fur coat.  Haha!

In other news, but along the same lines, I was unable to purchase my produce yesterday so I bought a bunch of bananas from a man down the road today.  I got home this afternoon and grabbed one for a snack.  As I was peeling off the sticker I realized it said, “Hola, chica!”  Who knew a random Spanish greeting could make me so happy?!?  I’m not sure why, but I loved it!!!  And the banana was delicious.

All in all, I love Prilep and I love market day and I am EXTREMELY excited about the fitting room information – so many new possibilities!!!  Bring on Saturday!!!

Thorns

Check out those thorns!!!

I came across these roses as I was out walking one day and I thought they were absolutely gorgeous.  As I was taking this picture I noticed the massive thorns protruding from the stems, waiting for some unsuspecting victim.

As Poison put it, “every rose has its thorn…” and the “rose” of life is no different.
Life is a beautiful, wonderful thing, but it definitely has it’s thorns.
I have been learning a lot more about those thorns lately.
Who knew they could come in so many shapes and sizes?
That they could pierce every part of your being?

A few days ago my friend and I went up to the top of one of the mountains on the edge of town.  Everything was green and beautiful from the rain the night before… it was so peaceful and relaxing that only the buzzing of some flies kept us awake.  On the way back down I slipped on some wet grass and got several little thorns in my hand.  Though I’ve gotten a few of them out, there are still a few buried deep down in there.  It still intrigues me how something so tiny can cause pain and make me alter how I go about normal activities.

But more often than not the most painful (and longest lasting) thorns are not physical.  My supervisor recently led a devotional on 2 Corinthians 12.  Verses 7-10 say, “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Paul’s thorn might have been a physical illness or condition, but it was so much more.  It was a messenger of Satan – it was painful.  It was felt in everything he did.  It was unwanted.  More than once he pleaded with the Lord to please remove it from him.   But this thorn was also a gift.  It limited his sinfulness by keeping him from becoming conceited.  It served as an opportunity for Paul to experience the Lord’s grace and power at work in his life at a deeper level.

As Paul began to see the thorn for what it truly was he grew in contentment.  The trials of life were seen through the lenses of sanctification.  He knew they would make him more like Christ and bring glory to the Lord – and he knew those two things are what life is ultimately all about.  It still hurt, but the pain was worth the end results.

Romans 5:3-5 explains how the process works.  It says, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”  

Likewise, James 1:2-4 says,  “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Life is not easy, but for all of us who have put our trust in Jesus Christ, it gives perspective and value to the hardships we face.

But, there does need to be a distinction made here.  As my supervisor pointed out, there is a difference between thorns and discipline.  Thorns are not the result of our sinfulness.  Rather, they are given to keep us from sinning in the first place.  Suffering the consequences of sin (discipline) is also part of the sanctification process, but not what we are talking about here.

I realized just yesterday another distinction that must be made.  Through some things that happened recently the Lord has graciously (and painfully) shown me some idols I have in my life.  Until this morning I wanted to call anything and anyone who came between me and those things a thorn.  If something or someone hurt my feelings, annoyed me, or made me mad then it must be a thorn.  I even wanted to consider my emotions a thorn.

But that simply isn’t true.  So what is the truth about the situation?  The truth is that my sinful nature has shown itself much more vividly since I came here.  I act more selfishly and I get hurt, angry, jealous, etc. a lot more easily than I ever have before in my life.  It’s not fun… at all.  Sure, I was praying the other night.  But they were prayers about how upset I was, what I wanted, and about what I thought God should do for me. (Notice all the personal pronouns in that sentence.)  I knew even then that I was thinking more emotionally than rationally, but I didn’t care.  And, unfortunately, this is not the first time this has happened here.  The truth is that I was focusing only on myself and my idols and not on the Lord.  And the truth is also that I am still being refined to look more like Christ.  Praise the Lord He hasn’t given up on me!

Random Order

I felt it was time for a blog update, but there is not one specific thing that stands out as needing an entire post devoted to it.  That being said, I will try to derive some sort of order from this smörgåsbord of random thoughts running through my mind at the moment.

BUCKET LIST:
This past week I was able to cross two items off of my “bucket list”: Paragliding and standing behind a waterfall!  Yay!!!  Both were awesome experiences that I would love to repeat!  The paragliding happened in a nearby town, and the waterfall was in Edessa, Greece – which, might I add, is a GORGEOUS town.  I still have many things I’d love to do before I die, but my life has been so ridiculously full of wonderful moments and adventure that I can honestly say I have lived a full and happy life – even if I never do another thing on the list.

BOYS
Don’t worry, this will not be reminiscent of a middle-school girl’s diary.  I have just had a few “interesting” experiences with the opposite sex lately that have left me slightly bewildered.  One ongoing situation involves my old man creeper who lives down the road.  The other incident was awkward, but flattering, as a young man I had just met asked me out.  I’ll spare you the details of these encounters, but it is something that has been on my mind.
(Note to my mom: Don’t worry, I have not walked backwards around any tables… nor do I have any plans of doing so.  Haha)

BREVITY OF LIFE
A few weeks ago I went over to a friend’s house to watch a movie.  (Sidenote: This led to a new mini-obsession with the Avengers movies.)  As we were leaving,  I was walking with another friend who was heading in the same direction.  It is not uncommon for cars to go waaay too fast down the particular street we were walking on, but it did come as quite a shock to see a car come flying around the corner swerving all over the road.  I have a pretty good guess that the driver was completely wasted.  He did not come too close to us, but it was close enough to make me and my heart-rate jump.  It was not necessarily a near-death experience, but it definitely got me thinking about how easily something like that could happen.  No one is guaranteed tomorrow and the whole earth is passing away.  Am I focusing each day on the things that will make a difference eternally?  Or am I just living for the pleasures of today?

BEAUTIFUL STORMS
Two days ago I found a nice little shady spot in a church courtyard here in town. I had some wonderful me and God time as I watched the sky grow more gray and heard the rumbling thunder begin.  The thunder went on for about 30 minutes, along with a few flashes of lightning, before I ever felt a drop of rain.  I love thunderstorms, especially when they are not accompanied by the threat of a tornado.  I began thinking about how beautiful the storm was – a great display of His power and majesty.  It was then that I realized how often I fail to see the beauty in the storms of life.  Yet He makes Himself known in those moments and they truly can be beautiful when I choose to focus on Him in the midst of the chaos.

BASKETBALL
Speaking of thunder, my boys – also known as the Oklahoma City Thunder – are doing extremely well in the first round of the NBA playoffs.  With a victory tonight (early tomorrow morning my time), they will shut out the defending champions. My friend showed me a website that usually shows the game so I am really hoping I can watch the game tonight!  THUNDER UP, OKC!!!

Photo Courtesy of the OKC Thunder facebook page

That sums up most of what is on my mind at the moment, and all of them started with “B” (I did have to think for a second on one of them, though, haha!).

 

Resurrection Day

This past weekend the Easter holiday was celebrated in America.  As I sat pondering the meaning of the holiday and, of course, possible facebook statuses to go with it, I became overwhelmed – in the most wonderful way possible!

Living here has forced me to break away from most of my American and family holiday traditions.  I fully expected spending the holidays away from my family to be extremely difficult.  What I am finding instead is that, yes it can be tough sometimes, but the true reasons why we celebrate are becoming even more real to me.

In America I would have said that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and Easter about His resurrection and that everything else is just hype.  And I would have believed it.  I probably would have rattled off something about how people focus too much on Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the gifts, candy, new clothes, etc.  But until I came here, I did not realize how much I was caught up in the hype or how surface-level my understanding of Christ’s birth and resurrection were.

Christ humbled Himself more than we could ever imagine.  He gave up the glory of Heaven to come live among us.  He lived a sinless life.   He died a horrible and humiliating death on the cross.  He rose from the dead three days later.  He conquered Hell and the powers of darkness.  He brought light and hope to a dark and dying world.  He changed the course of history and my eternity.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15 that if the resurrection were not true, then Christians should be pitied more than anyone else in the world.  But CHRIST IS RISEN!!!  He is alive!  If this fact were not true, there would be no hope in the world.  But because it is true, everyone who trusts Him as their Lord and Savior has the indelible hope of eternal life in Him!

Since the Orthodox calendar differs slightly, this year Easter will be celebrated here next week.  I am praying that I will have more opportunities to share God’s love and the truths of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection with the people here.  Traditions are just empty rituals when separated from the true meaning of the holiday. In Christ, there truly is reason to celebrate!

Photo taken by Марјана Маџар

Masquerade

February 24 is known as Прочка (Prochka) here.  It’s the day of forgiveness.  Young people are expected to seek the forgiveness of their elders and many of them seek money (usually coins, etc.) in return.  There is a parade through town and almost everyone is dressed up in a costume or wearing a fancy mask.

I enjoyed taking part in the festivities this year.  I went to a concert, watched the parade, and wore a mask.

But I couldn’t help thinking about how the physical masks I was seeing were only another layer added to the masks that were already there.  Everyone puts on a front.  Everyone tries to be who they think others want them to be.  Sometimes it is fully intentional, sometimes it is mere habit, and sometimes it is completely sub-conscious.

I had planned to write a poem about it, and maybe I still will someday, but I cannot shake the song “Masquerade” from the movie Phantom of the Opera from my mind.  It says very well so much of what I want to say.  So here are the lyrics:

Masquerade!
Paper faces on parade . . .Masquerade!
Hide your face,so the world will never find you!
Masquerade!
Every face a different shade . . .Masquerade!
Look around -there’s another mask behind you!Flash of mauve …Splash of puce …Fool and king …Ghoul and goose …Green and black …Queen and priest …Trace of rouge …Face of beast …Faces …Take your turn, take a ride on the merry-go-round …in an inhuman race

Eye of gold …Thigh of blue …True is false …Who is who?… Curl of lip …Swirl of gown …Ace of hearts …Face of clown …Faces …Drink it in, drink it up,till you’ve drowned in the light …in the sound …

Masquerade!
Grinning yellows,spinning reds . . .Masquerade!
Take your fill -let the spectacle astound you!
Masquerade!
Burning glances,turning heads . . .Masquerade!
Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you!
Masquerade!
Seething shadows breathing lies . . .Masquerade!
You can fool any friend who ever knew you!
Masquerade!
Leering satyrs,peering eyes . . .Masquerade!
Run and hide but a face will still pursue you!

(Copied from MetroLyrics.com)

 We all hide behind our masks: masks of self-confidence or false humility, masks of happiness or self-pity.  There are too many masks to name them all, and most people have several in their collection.  They choose the mask that fits the mood – or the one that best disguises it.

I cannot help but wonder how many masks I encounter every day… how many am I wearing myself?  When was the last time I removed every mask and took a good, hard look at my true self?  How often have people removed their masks and allowed me to see their true beauty?  Did I embrace those moments in love and grace… or did my reaction immediately force the mask back up?

These are my ponderings this Sunday afternoon.

Just Another Day in Paradox

I came across this door one day on the campus at Southwestern.  Getting a picture soon became one of my many missions.  Mission accomplished.

At the time, I just found it humorous and odd.  Now it holds a much deeper meaning.  It’s a reminder that things are not always as they seem, and that a perceived lack of logic is not necessarily cause for alarm.  This snapshot is a portrait of the paradoxes that are shaping my world right now.

Paradox 1: Life may not be pretty, but it’s always beautiful.
~~~ Things don’t always happen the way we planned, or the way we might think we want them to, but God is always in control.  His will is always accomplished.  And He always works everything to the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).  So I will try to dance in the rain when the storms of life come.

Paradox 2: The warmth of winter
~~~ This is without a doubt the coldest winter I have experienced in my life.  But that being said, I would not trade it for anything in the world.  I have learned so much about contentment and about the warmth that only comes from the Father – I could never summarize it all in words.  So while it lasts, I will play in the snow and laugh at myself as I slip and slide on the ice.

Paradox 3: Peace in the chaos
~~~ I think it is safe to say that I have had my share of “chaotic” moments here.  Trying to figure out how to shave while holding the shower-head, throwing up in a chip bag on a bus ride, losing my voice for a week, trying to learn a new language, almost catching the club on fire, etc.  None of these were overly traumatic, and some were downright funny.  But the triumphs and struggles of adapting to a new culture can make things seem pretty hectic.  Yet through even the darkest days and hours I have had an overwhelming peace.  I know that I am exactly where God wants me and that I am in His hands no matter what.

Paradox 4: The Living Dead
~~~ All over the world  there are people going through life without Jesus Christ.  They do not have the Holy Spirit living in and through them.  They are under the wrath of God and have never experienced the depth of His love and grace. Some of them have never heard that apart from trusting in Christ – recognizing that His death on the cross paid the price for their sins and that His resurrection gives them new life in Him – they can never be reconciled to God.  Some of them have heard and hardened their hearts to the Truth.  Many of them are striving to take care of their temporary flesh.  They eat right, exercise, go to the doctor when they need to, etc. etc. etc.  But as my supervisor recently said, “It doesn’t matter if your body is healthy if your spirit is dead.”  These people are walking around in living flesh, but they have never experienced true life.  They live next door.  They walk beside me on the street.  They drink coffee at the next table.  They call me “friend.”  But if I am not telling them about Christ and His love for them, I am being anything but a friend.

Paradox 5: Christ is coming, He’s waiting for you.
~~~ Revelation 22:20 says, “He (Jesus) who testifies to these things says, ‘Surely I am coming soon.’ Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” Then, in 2 Peter 3:9 we read, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”  People in Peter’s day thought that since Christ did not return immediately (as we perceive time), He must be a liar.  But the reality is that Christ could say, “I am coming soon” 2000+ years ago, and He could say that statement again today and not come for another 2000+ years, and still not be a liar.  Time, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  God exists outside of time.  He is not limited by our weak perceptions.  He knows that any amount of years pales in comparison to all of eternity.  Christ is coming soon.  It could be tonight.  It could be 9000 years from now, but He is coming soon.  He waits because there are more people who need to experience salvation.  Perhaps that person is you?  What’s holding you back?

The final paradox: Salvation is free, but costly.
~~~  You can never buy your way into Heaven, into God’s presence.  You can never do enough good to earn your way there.  You have to accept grace as the free gift that it is.  Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin (what we have earned because we do things that go against God’s will) is death (eternal death, eternal separation from God), but the gift of God (free, cannot be bought or earned) is eternal life (sounds pretty good to me) in Christ Jesus (ONLY through Jesus Christ can this gift be received) our Lord (here’s where it gets “costly”).”  Salvation is offered as a free gift to those who repent (turn from) their sins and put their faith (true belief) in Christ.  But this means Christ becomes the Lord (boss) of your life.  And sometimes He might call you to do hard things.  But the amazing beauty of it is that He loves you more than you could ever know or imagine and He knows EVERYTHING so He knows what is the best for you and what will bring you the most joy, hope, contentment, and peace in your life.  Even His discipline (though sometimes painful) is done in love and for your good.  You can trust Him completely.  This is why martyrs throughout the centuries have sung His praises while being tortured and killed.  They knew that God would receive glory through their suffering.  They knew that this life is temporary and that they would soon be rejoicing and delighting in His presence for all of eternity and that any physical or emotional pain was more than worth it.

I never found out where that door in the picture led or why the signs were there.  But, in the end, that doesn’t really matter.  What matters is that Christ is coming soon and we must make the most of the days we have before His arrival.

Addicted

It’s February now, and the snow is still falling here in Prilep.  But that’s not what this post is about.

Јас сум зависна на Американски фудбал.  In other words, I’m addicted to American football.  And, according to one of my friends here, I am spreading the addiction like a virus.

Last Wednesday I had a great time going over the basics of the game with some of my friends here and getting them hyped up and ready for the big game.

Then the Super Bowl started just after midnight this morning so we watched it at a little all-night sports bar type place (I really have no idea what to call it in English).  Though the outcome was heart-breaking for this Pats fanatic, I still had a great time!  And the Patriots now have a wider international fan base.  :)

A couple of my friends changed their profile pics to Patriots pictures, several of my friends tagged me in pro-Patriots pregame status updates,  and one posted  after the game, “So, my hate-list is pretty short, but Giants – you are on it!”  I seriously have some of the greatest friends in the world!  Not to mention my family’s support of this all – my mom even messaged Wes Welker to tell him I would be watching the game in Macedonia!

And, though I love my sports and love my teams, and have no intentions of changing that any time soon, it got me thinking.  I was taken back to a Falls Creek service I attended in high school.  We were all sitting there when suddenly the OU emblem appeared on the screen.  Half the crowd erupted in cheers while the other half sat silently or booed their adversary.  Then the screen went black.  Then the OSU emblem appeared – same thing.  Then the screen went dark once more.  This time it was not a sports logo that popped up, but the name of JESUS.  The whole crowd sat quietly… waiting to hear where this was going.

The speaker took the stage with a look of sadness on his face.  ”Why is it…” he asked, “that we get so excited and bold about our favorite teams, but when it comes to Christ, we sit in silence?”  Those might not have been his exact words, but that was the gist of it.  It broke my heart, and I am reminded of that moment again today.

As much as I love the Patriots, I want the world to know that I love my Lord and Savior infinitely more!  And I pray that, just as people around me have “caught the vision” of American football, many more around me will be touched by the grace and redemption of the Holy Spirit.  In eternity it won’t matter how many games my favorite football team won or lost, all that will matter is what each of us did with Christ in the time He gave us on this earth.

This is a picture of Denver Broncos’ quarterback, Tim Tebow.  The verse referenced on his eye black is Romans 1:16, which says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.”

                                                    (Image provided by Google)

I am praying for him.  I pray that he will continue to use his talents and abilities to bring God glory.  I pray that he will continue to stand firm in his faith in the midst of persecution.  I pray that he will continue to remember that Christ is worth more than any Super Bowl trophy or championship ring.  I pray that people would turn from their sin and trust Christ as their Lord and Savior because of his faithful witness.  And I pray that I too would be faithful to put Christ first in EVERYTHING.